cooley
05-13-2003, 02:17 PM
i cant remember if i saw this on here before so i will post it
Lesson Number One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the
crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well,
why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're
packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that
it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight there he was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. Soon the turkey was spotted by a farmer, who promptly shot him out of
the tree.
Management Lesson: Bulls**t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you
there.
Lesson Number Three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain
said,"I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and
functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about
and get him to where he wants to go. The hands said, "We should be the Boss
because we do all the work and earn all the money. "And so it went on and on
with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the as*hole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the as*hole being the Boss. So the
as*hole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a
short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched,
the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they
all decided that the as*hole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.
Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any a**hole will do.
Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird
froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a
cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the
pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually
thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for
joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out. Then he ate him!
Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops s*it on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of s*it is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep s*it, keep your mouth shut.
Lesson Number One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the
crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well,
why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're
packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that
it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight there he was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. Soon the turkey was spotted by a farmer, who promptly shot him out of
the tree.
Management Lesson: Bulls**t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you
there.
Lesson Number Three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain
said,"I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and
functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about
and get him to where he wants to go. The hands said, "We should be the Boss
because we do all the work and earn all the money. "And so it went on and on
with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the as*hole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the as*hole being the Boss. So the
as*hole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a
short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched,
the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they
all decided that the as*hole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.
Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any a**hole will do.
Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird
froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a
cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the
pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually
thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for
joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out. Then he ate him!
Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops s*it on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of s*it is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep s*it, keep your mouth shut.