ZR Rider
07-16-2003, 10:32 AM
THIS IS THE CODE...
1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard
stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back
enough beer with the boys and rather you've been
sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your
free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah
diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming fag. A cat
is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly
but never scratches
itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its
nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how
you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your
### over here!" Now think about how you call a
cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus,
you're the poster boy for GAY.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops,
baby-pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured,
you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks bar-b-q
ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, craw-fish guts, pickled
pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in
training to suck El-Dicko and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom
or #### in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual
relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he
defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like
a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee is to be had
strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and
full-aroma. A #####-eating man will never be heard
ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will
never, ever
know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've
had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a dick there
too.
6. If you know more than six names of colours or four
different types of dessert, you might as well be
handing out free passes to your ###. A real man
doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember
all of that crap as well as all the names of all the
players in the Major league, NHL, NFL, NBA, college
ball, PGA, and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse
or you know what a "fresier" is, you're gay.
And if you can name ANY type of textile other than
denim, you are faggadocious!
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget
it...you hungry for meat-popsicle. A man only puts
both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-### driver
or to cut the mother####er off. The rest of the time
he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat
his
hamburger, hold his beer, finger the beotch in the
passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or, if
he's Latino, talk on his cell-phone.
8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films,
mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it
is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman
who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the
above films by yourself or with another man is likely
to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion),
which is what happens to fags when they flame out too
quickly. So follow the rules and beware...or keep that
#### to yourself, you flamming #####!
1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard
stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back
enough beer with the boys and rather you've been
sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your
free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah
diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming fag. A cat
is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly
but never scratches
itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its
nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how
you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your
### over here!" Now think about how you call a
cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus,
you're the poster boy for GAY.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops,
baby-pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured,
you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks bar-b-q
ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, craw-fish guts, pickled
pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in
training to suck El-Dicko and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom
or #### in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual
relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he
defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like
a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee is to be had
strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and
full-aroma. A #####-eating man will never be heard
ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will
never, ever
know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've
had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a dick there
too.
6. If you know more than six names of colours or four
different types of dessert, you might as well be
handing out free passes to your ###. A real man
doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember
all of that crap as well as all the names of all the
players in the Major league, NHL, NFL, NBA, college
ball, PGA, and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse
or you know what a "fresier" is, you're gay.
And if you can name ANY type of textile other than
denim, you are faggadocious!
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget
it...you hungry for meat-popsicle. A man only puts
both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-### driver
or to cut the mother####er off. The rest of the time
he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat
his
hamburger, hold his beer, finger the beotch in the
passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or, if
he's Latino, talk on his cell-phone.
8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films,
mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it
is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman
who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the
above films by yourself or with another man is likely
to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion),
which is what happens to fags when they flame out too
quickly. So follow the rules and beware...or keep that
#### to yourself, you flamming #####!