It's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And the honourable mentions:-


2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.


3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.


4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.


5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.


6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)


7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.


8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."


9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****


10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.



Rick :lmao:

those are some dumb a** criminals.. lol

Those are some dummies, but this one should be there too:

NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and
family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance
on the popular TV show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the
first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing "the
absolute worst use of lifelines ever."
After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her
that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy
$100 question. The question was:

"Which of the following is the largest?"
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she
realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the
answer.

"Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie," said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to
hide her disbelief and disgust. "I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of
these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be."

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.
Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an
elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans
still remained unsure.

"Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!" exclaimed Evans. "Darn. I
think I better phone a friend."

Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans
asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

"Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!" said Evans, wasting the
first seven seconds of her call. "Ok, I got an important question. Which of
the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds
hun."

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to
argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

"Come on Betsy, are you sure?" said Evans. "How sure are you? Puh, that
can't be it."

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's
advice and pick 'The Moon.'

"I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I
think I'd like to ask the audience," said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of
answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the
dumbest choice of her life.

"Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking," said the
too-stupid-to-live Evans. "But you know, sometimes you just got to go with
your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm
going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer."
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated
breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C,
'The Moon.'

HERE'S YOUR SIGN................ :withstupid:

Here's another one:

A guy is on his second day of snowmobiling up north, when he realizes he's going through fuel much faster than normal. He can barely smell gas, but sees a little building up on his left floorboard, but is over 150 miles from his cabin and just wants to get back home. He ends up running out of gas twice and has to siphon gas from a couple of his riding partners' sleds. He finally gets it back to the cabin's garage after 2-3 hours of nervous riding, not knowing what the problem is. After disassembling the airbox and carbs, he notices the fuel line from the pump to the carbs has been sucked in to the driveshaft, wearing a quarter-sized hole in the line. Apparently the week before when he cleaned the carbs, he didn't reroute the fuel line properly. He considered himself very fortunate to not have the sled go up in flames.

Oh, and that guy is yours truly!! :bash: Sometimes it helps to make fun of ourselves!

I fell out of my chair laughing!!!! :lmao: :lmao:

Frank