idooski
08-10-2007, 12:40 PM
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before
it goes after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need
to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
CURRENT problems before adding NEW problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life,
I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across
the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
NANCY POLOSI: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads and lay eggs,< SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
but will file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra..#@&&^( C \ .... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
that he must first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before
it goes after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need
to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
CURRENT problems before adding NEW problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life,
I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across
the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
NANCY POLOSI: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads and lay eggs,< SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
but will file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra..#@&&^( C \ .... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?