Formulaman
11-01-2002, 06:05 AM
This is so funny!
1. Go to your local sled shop, smile and give $200 to the first guy you see. This will get you used to doing this all season.
2.Remove the muffler from your lawnmower place the mower in a large metal can and start it up, put your head in the can and close the lid.
3.Fill a 50 gall. drum with sand and place it in a hole. Now lift it out. If you can, add water to the sand, do this 5 times per day. This will help prepare for deep snow stucks.
4. Tie a rope to a heavy duty spring pull the rope repeatedly with both hands until the pain in your shoulder meets somewhere in the middle of your back. Do this excercise while someone is spraying starting fluid in your nose and eyes.
5. Drink 4 ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxitive. Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs insulated boots and a heavy coat. Now head out deep into the woods without any paper products and wait for a personal emergency.
6. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Pull the carb off your lawnmower and place it in the deep freezer. Now climb into the freezer shut the lid and overhaul it while you hold a penlight in your mouth. Note advanced riders do this with a leatherman tool.
7. Dress up in your $350 snow bibs. Pour two stroke oil down one leg gasoline down the other, peppermint schnapps and beer down the front. Now ask your wife/girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her as well.
8. Put a balaclava and a full face helmut on. Attemp to drink hot chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders do this while riding a lawn tractor in nearest farmers field
9. Find a place where you can pay $3.50 a gallon for reg. gas $19.99 per quart of oil $16 for a hamberger and frozen fries $3.00 for a coke $60 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springe sticking out. Stay 2 night minimum, this will prepare you for high cost of future trips.
10. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a $40,000 truck to pull 4 -$10,000 toys in your $9000 trailer that you still owe $40,000 on.
Now you are 50 per cent ready for the season!!!
1. Go to your local sled shop, smile and give $200 to the first guy you see. This will get you used to doing this all season.
2.Remove the muffler from your lawnmower place the mower in a large metal can and start it up, put your head in the can and close the lid.
3.Fill a 50 gall. drum with sand and place it in a hole. Now lift it out. If you can, add water to the sand, do this 5 times per day. This will help prepare for deep snow stucks.
4. Tie a rope to a heavy duty spring pull the rope repeatedly with both hands until the pain in your shoulder meets somewhere in the middle of your back. Do this excercise while someone is spraying starting fluid in your nose and eyes.
5. Drink 4 ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxitive. Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs insulated boots and a heavy coat. Now head out deep into the woods without any paper products and wait for a personal emergency.
6. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Pull the carb off your lawnmower and place it in the deep freezer. Now climb into the freezer shut the lid and overhaul it while you hold a penlight in your mouth. Note advanced riders do this with a leatherman tool.
7. Dress up in your $350 snow bibs. Pour two stroke oil down one leg gasoline down the other, peppermint schnapps and beer down the front. Now ask your wife/girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her as well.
8. Put a balaclava and a full face helmut on. Attemp to drink hot chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders do this while riding a lawn tractor in nearest farmers field
9. Find a place where you can pay $3.50 a gallon for reg. gas $19.99 per quart of oil $16 for a hamberger and frozen fries $3.00 for a coke $60 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springe sticking out. Stay 2 night minimum, this will prepare you for high cost of future trips.
10. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a $40,000 truck to pull 4 -$10,000 toys in your $9000 trailer that you still owe $40,000 on.
Now you are 50 per cent ready for the season!!!