You must be single....


A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where
she selected a quart of
milk, a carton of eggs, juice and a package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items onto the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed her items in
front of the cashier.

He said, "You must be single."

The woman, a bit startled, but intrigued, looked at her four items on the
belt, and seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections, said,
"Well, y'know, that's right. But how on earth did you
know that?"


The drunk said, "Cause you're uglier 'n sh#t :D :D

LMAO!!! That's pretty funny.

oooh thats a goood one gator lmao :D :D

lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought they look better when your drunk... guess that one was a real looker huh?

Today's funny


A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.

"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"He said you're going to die," she replied :p :p

lol thats good